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Caravan of Garbage
"Welcome to '''The Weekly Planet's Caravan of Garbage'. The show where we discuss Comic books, or movies or other things that might not be so great but maybe they are great but generally they're probably not so great." ~ Mr Sunday Movies'' "Maybe we'll find some hidden gems along the way but probably not." ~ Nick Mason The Caravan of Garbage is a show created by the best Podcast duo on the internet, James and Maso. Only the first 8 episodes have been sponsored by Loot Crate/Lut Crate the others appear to be unsponsered. The canonicity of these episodes is highly questionable. James and Mason have refused to comment on the matter. Dawn of the Caravan of the Garbage Episodes 1) The Lost STAR WARS sequel After Star Wars A New Hope but before Empire Strikes Back existed a potential Star Wars sequel called Splinter Of The Mind's Eye. It became a book and a comic but now it's a...YouTube...retelling. A Star Wars motion comic if you will. Joy. This was a book that was remade into a comic that was supposed to be the low budget sequel to A New Hope if they movie tanked but as it did quite well they had no need for this. James recounts this epic tale of Luke and Leia as they go on their next (not so) epic adventure. Edited by Ben From Canada Animations by Erik . 2) The Only 90's Superman Movie Welcome to episode two of Caravan of Garbage, the show where we delve into the past to uncover some of the hidden forgotten gems. A comic! A movie! A game! Who knows? Not even us. This week, 1997's Steel staring Shaquille O'Neal. It's real bad. Or is it real bad? Kinda. Or is it? Yes. "Will they or won't they? Spoiler Alert: They won't." ~ Mason This time Nick tells the awesome adventures of Steel. And laughs at how slow Shaq runs. Did his grandma ever make that souffle? Find out in the Caravan of garbage episode 2. Edited by Auram / Dylan Alexander from the Show With Issues. . . 3) The WORST Justice League Movie Caravan Of Garbage is made possible because of by Loot Crate. Visit www.lootcrate.com/weeklyplanet for 3 dollars off any subscription Welcome to episode three of Caravan of Garbage, the show where we delve into the past to uncover some of the hidden forgotten gems. A comic! A movie! A game! Who knows? Not even us. This week, 1997's Justice League Of America CBS pilot. It's awful. Flat out. "I know it's TV and I know they never green lit it-" ~ James "Green lanterned it." ~ Maso "Ha -but it's just bad and stupid." ~ James , Aqua Lantern and Ice]] "And you know what? Green Lantern's suit looks kinda blue." ~ Maso There's no Superman, there's no Batman. But there is Guy Gardener Green Lantern! But he doesn't have the Bowl cut or ginger hair so why even bother. We're back to James telling this very special story of the Justice League. . 4) The Weirdest LUKE CAGE Story Welcome to episode four and the final in this season of Caravan of Garbage, the show where we delve into the past to uncover some of the hidden forgotten gems. A comic! A movie! A game! Who knows? Not even us. This week, Luke Cage's first comic book adventure into the wider Marvel Universe! It's a bloody good one. "Like you got your powers... weird stuff's gonna happen eventually." ~ Maso as Dr Doom "You motherless son of a witch." ~ Maso as Luke Cage Delve into Luke Cage's first encounter with the wider weird Marvel comics universe. Just a heads up... this Luke Cage story is weird. Edited by Ben From Canada. . 5) Stealing the Death Star Plans BONUS EPISODE!' Looking back to 1995's Dark Forces, the original Star Wars first person shooter. The first level of which was the original canon for how the Death Star plans got in the hands of the Rebel Alliance. James and Maso play a video game and now they can finally live up to their sometimes intro of talking about Comic Books, Movies and Video Games. Animated by John (StratMasterJ). . Star Wars Trilogy . . . . . . . . 6) What If The Death Star Wasn't Destroyed? Welcome to a very special Star Wars themed season of Caravan of Garbage, the show where we delve into the past to uncover some of the hidden forgotten gems. A comic! A movie! A game! Who knows? This week, an alternate take on Star Wars: A New Hope where the Death Star was never destroyed. Twist. Star Wars Infinity, Divergent Timelines and Alternate Universes! Wa wa wa waaaah. Edited by Ben from Canada. 7) Rey's Animated Origin? Welcome to a very special Star Wars themed season of Caravan of Garbage, the show where we delve into the past to uncover some of the hidden forgotten gems. A comic! A movie! A game! Who knows? This week, the first Star Wars TV series, Droids, featuring the adventures of C3P0 and R2D2 ''plus the origins or Rey. But probably not I dunno.'' Could all the similarities between Droids and The Force Awakens be a coincidence or is this mysterious desert stranger the real Rey? Find out as Nick tells us the story of C3PO, R2D2 and best mates, Thall and Jord on the uncommon desert planet of Ingo. Edited by Ben From Canada. 8) Defeating DARTH VADAR in Video Games Welcome to a very special Star Wars themed season of Caravan of Garbage, the show where we delve into the past to uncover some of the hidden forgotten gems. A comic! A movie! A game! Who knows? This week, we challenge Darth Vader to a series of duels across the history of Star Wars video games! Some are good. Some are terrible. All are played poorly. ''"Yeahitsbingud" ''~ Maso Once again the most iconic duo on the internet play video games in 8-bit animation form. Animated by StratMasterJ, John Stratman himself. Weekly Video Game Episodes 9) ALIENS (1990 Arcade Game) Caravan of Garbage returns for a walk through of the 1990 classic Arcade title, Aliens! All your favourites are back, Ripley! Hicks! Newt! Sort of! Plus aliens, the power loader, the alien queen and a whole lot of other weird shit. '"I got missiles coming out of my knees mate, that's where I'm at" ~ Mr Sunday Movin' ﻿Internet celebrities and podcast extraordinaires Nick "Maso" Mason and Mr Sunday Movin' are back as they play (and suck at) an arcade game (made for children). Once is a mistake, twice is a pattern but three times is a habit which means that The Weekly Planet have bade it a habit to play video games on Youtube. ]] Again, animated by StratMasterJ. . 10) PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN (PS3) What? I mean, here's the latest Caravan of Garbage for Pirate's of the Caribbean At World's End for the PS3. It's one of the greatest games of all times. Pirates of the Caribbean games. Well, top five. *Explosion* "That killed you?" ~ James "Apparently...but nobody else. But that's a classic Jack Sparrow way to live." ~ Maso The most iconic internet duo fight Persians, an army of bald men and a snake whilst doing the best and most dynamic sword fighting either of them have seen in any game ever. Video edited by Ben from Canada (Ben Chinapen). . 11) MORTAL KOMBAT VS DC UNIVERSE-Wonder Woman Story Remember Mortal Kombat VS DC Universe? This is the Wonder Woman bit. It's a good game I think. "Just to be clear Caravan of Garbage isn't always garbage, this game is great. #GotchaGirl. EDIT: Also this game is MK8 not MK9.﻿" ~ Mr Sunday Movies (Comment) Watch Nick and James have flawless victories over Shang Tsung, Kitana and Shazam as they Double-Handed Punch, Divine Princess and Gotcha Girl their way out of danger and away from RAGE caused by a temporal rift in the universe. Has no editing credit at the end. . 12) The MUMMY (PS1) The Mummy on Playstation One from 1999 is really something. Really. Something. "Watch out! It's The Mummy he's back!" ~ James about 20 times. Using the power of trepidatious backwards walks, twenty second torches and "Bam"s, watch as Mason beats men into dust; shoots mummies also into dust; and solves hard puzzles such as press a giant button, find a key, and press a key into a giant button. Edited by Ben From Canada AKA SparkOcean. . 13) Spider-man (NES) Forget Spider-Man on the PS4, that's a game for idiots. Spider-man Return of the Sinister Six on Nintendo from 1992 is where it's it. "That guy flew apart! You shattered him!" ~ James "Yeah, that guys dead." ~ Maso Watch as James and Maso take on 2 of the 6 Sinister Six using amazing flips, tricks, punches and kicks as Spider-Man fails to **Curly Muffin, escape a rat infested box(?) and takes forever to figure out how to flip a switch. This video (as briefly mention in the podcast) was edited by Ben from Canada (although there are no credits on the video or in the description at this moment). *''*Curly Muffin: Turning around in mid air in video games.'' . . 14) Transformers (NES/Famicon) The Transformers: Mystery of Convoy. Yeah this one is no good. "You're searching all about looking for Optimus Prime. But the thing of it is is that if you've seen the movie he dies." ~Maso "And he dies in front of Ultra Magnus." ~ James "Yeah so I don't know if Ultra Magnus has demitia or whatever." ~Maso James and Maso immediately die as they try to get past the first level and sing 'WHAT I'VE DONE!' several times. It's not a good game but at least we get some epic commentary from the most iconic internet duo. No edit or animating credits on video or description. . 15) Spider-Man Maximum Carnage (SNES) Two for the price of one, Spider-man and Spider-man Maximum Carnage on the Super Nintendo. And you know what? They're fine. "I just killed Master Chief. Do I get to mutilate his corpse? No?" ~ Maso "You get to rub your crotch in his face." ~ James Watch as James and Mason fail as one game, give up and play another. The dynamic duo of podcast beat up well known Spider-man villains such as Mike, Hayden and Bret as well is the most famous Spider-man villain Dana and Lizzie, "a couple of 90s chicks". Edited by Ben From Canada. . 16) Spider-Man (N64) This week's Caravan of Garbage takes us all the way back to the year 2000 with Spider-man N64! Except a broken emulated version. Also it was on Playstation I think. Thanks for watching! "This game is great. This game is the best game that's ever made. I love it so much. This is where it's at, if anybody wants to fight me 'bout that, you can't cuz I'm right. This game's so great, look at me go, I'm fucking Spider-man. What an era of gaaaaming, what a time to be alive. I'm going-why is there a Cletus Kasady billboard?" ~ sung by James "He's a murderer." ~ Maso Watch and enjoy as James' game simulator messes with the Spidey-compass and causes it to be none existent as they swing around a poisonous New York City. Edited by Ben From Canada. . 17) Planet Of The Apes (PS1) Planet of the Apes 2001 on the PlayStation is one of the worst games of all time. Everybody associated in this should be forever ashamed of their work. "This game as been a combination of Planet of the Ape and-" ~ Maso "-Hot sh*t?" ~ James "I was gonna say Groundhog Day." ~ Maso James and Maso try to break out of Ape prison and fail multiple times because of switches, buttons, medicals saws and soup. Edited by Ben From Canada. 18) Star Wars Jedi Power Battles (PS1) Star Wars Jedi Power Battles on the Playstation is fondly remembered. Or is it? I honestly don't remember. Anyways this video in on that game. "Okay. This is one of the worst games I've ever played" ~ Maso "That can not be true." ~ James "Nope, it's true." ~ Maso Maso and James defeat many robots with the skill and accuracy of the Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn. Watch as one of them gets left off-screen; Maso complains and somehow seems to think The Mummy game was better and acts salty AF because he's not good at it; and die four times trying to hop onto a conveyor belt. No edit credit in video so assume it was James I guess. 19) The Incredible Hulk Ultimate Destruction (PS2) The Incredible Hulk Ultimate Destruction on Playstation 2 is a good game. A fresh change of pace. "Damn I'm good at this!" ~ Maso "Mmmmm." ~ James This is a world where cows are indestructible and the Hulk's only enemies are the Army and Civilians. Edited by Ben From Canada. 20) Superman (NES/Master System) Superman on the Master System and Superman on the Nintendo are both terrible games for different reasons. God dammit. "At least you can get off-" ~ James "You're right, I can get off. Because I love 8-bit games, in a sexual manner." ~ Maso Watch as Maso dies within 2 minutes of the video,Superman punches out kryptonite lasers with his little fists and then they both give up and play a different game. Then watch as they fail at that too as Superman somehow gets shot at by bullets, enters rooms full of gangsters and is constantly harassed to find News as if it's his job of something... Edited by Ben from Canada. 21) Voltron (PS3) Voltron: Defender Of The Universe is an okay game till it's a terrible game. You'll know when. "You know what I liked about the new show? They've embraced the uniqueness of all the different lions...in the new one it's kinda like the Yellow one's kinda the strong one and the Red one's the red one." ~ James "Haha! I get it." ~ Maso James and Maso become Little men as they are plunged into survival mode, saving some people and shooting at other people with seemingly no rhyme or reason our heroes are able to discern. FORM VOLTRON! This game is so hard to get screen shots of. I honestly can't see anything I don't know how they're playing this. Edited by Ben From Canada. 22) Marvel Nemesis (PS2) Marvel Nemesis: Rise Of Imperfects was an average at best game with a somewhat entertaining multiplayer. And that's great. "Solara or more Evil Solara? More evil Solara" ~ Maso "I mean, I'd like to get to know regular Solara before you go onto-" ~ James "There's no time!" ~ Maso Nick tricks James by telling him to stand still so he can try something and then throwing a car at him. Watch as your favourite characters, like Daredevil, Solara and Niles Van Roekel battle it out in the streets of New York. Edited by Ben From Canada. . 23) Game Of Thrones (PS3) Game of Thrones the game on PS3 is no good. Thumbnail unrelated. "*Hums Duck tales theme* life is like a game of thrones, here in Westeros! Anyways." ~ Maso "The #GOTBROS are back!... This is Game of Thrones the game." ~ James Sit back and relax as the GOT Bros play the single player GOT prequel with varying levels of frustration at both GOT and the GOT game and its unskippable cut scenes with its many many stats. Edited by Ben From Canada 24) The Punisher (PS2) The Punisher on PS2 is fun! Fun-ish! We did this because of the Punisher Netflix show. Tie-in. Synergy. "Welcome back to Caravan of Garbage a show where we play a thing from the past or the p- it's always the past!" ~ Sung by James "Sometimes it's bad, it's mostly bad!" ~ Sung by Maso Watch as people get thrown out of windows, get interrogated and shot by everyone's favourite New York based murderer, The Punisher. Does The Punisher only kill Minorities? Can he throw that guy out of the window? Can he wield two shotguns at the same time? All this and more in 15 minutes and 36 seconds of murdery goodness. Edited by Ben From Canada 25) IT and Lawnmower Man (SNES) It's our Stephen King-A-Thon! A combination of all the Stephen King video games. All two of them. Wooooooo. "Don't accidentally run into a tennis shoe. Also don't accidentally run into a MURDEROUS CLOWN." ~ Maso Watch as Maso expertly navigates his way through the storm drains, avoiding shoes, blocks, missing posters, pipes and a demonic child-murdering clown; whilst also trying to collect balloons despite it being equally as bad as the clown in the movie. "Even within a virtual world created within a virtual world, the physics stacks up." ~ James Then watch as James and Maso fight their way through a suburb and a weird virtual reality. Edited by Ben From Canada . 26) James Bond 007: Everything or Nothing (PS2) There's no Kingsman game unfortunately, so instead we play this sweet as James Bond game, Everything Or Nothing from 2003. A CLASSIC. UNIRONICALLY A CLASSIC. 27) Jurassic Park: Rampage Edition (Genesis) 28) Blade Runner (PC) 29) The Flash (MS) This week we give The Flash on Sega Master System a red hot go to celebrate the return of the Flash TV show or the Justice League trailer or whatever. I maintain it's fine for the time but Mason says it not. What a world. "So many Flash points." ~ James "So that guy-"~ Nick "SO MANY FLASH POINTS." ~ James "Uuuuugha ha, Great stuff!" ~ Nick Watch as Maso and Clemo run from the FED, leap on a spring and try to stop The Trickster from becoming Mayor of Central City (Pop 1,000,000) as Mason reminisces about The Flash (1990-91) TV show. Edited by Ben From Canada.